It’s been a month of transition at my house. Transition back to school. Transition back into my husband’s business travel. Transition into a new level of engagement in my own job, which has also necessitated travel. As it turns out, I’m not as good at transition as I used to be. This morning finds me reflecting back on a month of obstacles. Isn’t that absurd? It’s so easy for us to focus on what we aren’t able to do instead of really experiencing what we’ve done.
I sat down today to write about obstacles to my blogging. Mainly because I carry masses of guilt on a daily basis. Guilt for what I haven’t done or haven’t done well. I added my blog to this list over the last couple of weeks. I felt guilty because I didn’t do something that I do strictly because I enjoy it. And guess what? The guilt eliminates the enjoyment. That’s an irony I don’t find enjoyable. And I love irony.
So this morning I woke up a little angry. Per the usual, I was angry with myself. So I decided to give into the obstacles. I let myself be interrupted by my kids and chose not to be frustrated by it. I let myself go onto other things when i couldn’t start a load of laundry because I’m out of laundry detergent. I let myself read blogs and link to sites as my whim dictated. I let myself drink a cup of coffee and do nothing. And it was nice. And I don’t feel guilty. I gave into the obstacles, and I was able to cut myself some slack instead of focusing on what isn’t getting done. (I win!)
….And now I’m blogging. (I win again!) And I’m still going to talk about those obstacles, because really, they’re kind of funny.
1. I finished my Tunisian Multi-Garment, but have no photos to blog because I can’t decide the best way to lace it together. I’ve laced and re-laced this garment around 5 times and undo it every time. There’s a strong possibility I’m subconsciously postponing the inevitable because I don’t want my picture taken. Hmmmm.
2. I’ve crocheted what I feel is an adorable scarf. I can’t finish it, however, because I went off pattern and ran out of yarn with only three sides of the final border row to go. I went to the yarn store yesterday and they’re out, so I ordered some. It’s going to take two weeks for the yarn to come in because I went to my local yarn store instead of ordering it online. Why don’t I order it online? Because of guilt! I love the little ladies at my yarn store and I feel obligated to get it from them because of their elderly wonderfulness. Next.
3. I’ve finished a pencil skirt and I think it’s pretty awesome. I’m actually taking license by saying I’ve finished it because I haven’t. I need to add a hook and eye to the waist band. That’s all. I’ve needed to add this hook and I for roughly four weeks. Still haven’t done it. I want to wear it to work. But I can’t because it needs a hook and eye. Could it be that I’m postponing completion on purpose? Probably. You see, I want to blog my sewing triumph, but then…I’d probably need to have my picture taken….
Oh well, I think I’ll deal with one shortcoming at a time…don’t you think? I’m going back here now…Wishing you all a peaceful weekend!….Amy